What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Is depression a cause for always feeling tired?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

True - how I loved my mum!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Why do you think most harem anime and manga have lame male protagonists that would be considered losers and pathetic by most people?

What! how could you do that?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Why would Hugh Grant cheat on Elizabeth Hurley?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

When have you been in an accident where the other person involved blatantly lied to the police about what transpired?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What do you mean son?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

In my experience, British people are fat, ugly and arrogant. Why is it and can it be changed?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!